Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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