Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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