His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
