I need help removing her.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
