Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
