She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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