Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
