Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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