Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
