Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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