what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize