Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
two words: eviction party
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
