My liver just broke up with me...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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