He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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