I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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