the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
