I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
