Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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