I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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