I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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