Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
