I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
