The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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