I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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