I skipped work to stalk him.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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