I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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