Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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