I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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