really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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