oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So squirting runs in the family.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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