Sry I called you an 8
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
