Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
