i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
