He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize