Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize