I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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