his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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