I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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