If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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