goodnight i made you a song goodbye
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
