omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have aggressive nipples.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
