He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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