...so i touched it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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