he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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