Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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