Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
