I have demons in me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
