she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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