The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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