Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
