Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
