No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
