I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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