i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
