Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
