Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
