we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
