8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well you can't waste a boner
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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